see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
