Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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