i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
