i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
