just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
there is glitter all over my balls
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
