shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
