Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
