Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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