Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have already put on my inside pants.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
