I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
