sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
