Define "chronic" masturbator.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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