i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
