he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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