dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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