Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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