Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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