I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
