Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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