doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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