I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
