My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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