Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
