i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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