A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bring me that man meat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
