There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
