I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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