You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
