My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
