he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
