Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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