I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
