He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
