oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
