I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
