Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
