i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
