saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
