Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
