You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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