The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
