Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
