Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
