I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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