Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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