I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
