i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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