I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
