I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
