i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
